I have decided to start this blog to record my thoughts and feelings of my 90 day tapout journey. I am excited to start this, as I have had no real success with exercise since moving to Virginia almost 10 years ago. I finally decided it is because I am not doing what I enjoy. I need to like what I do to help lose weight and strengthen my body. We have no karate dojo's here in King George that appeal to me, and do the kind of martial arts I loved in Utah. We bought the Tapout XT and HErb and I started trying it last week. I was so sore, but it felt good. I have always enjoyed martial arts. It was hard, and I was rolling around on the floor and got rug burns on my arm and hands. (since then I bought gloves and it worked much better as well as wearing a long sleeved shirt) I am really enjoying getting up at 6 am and getting my exercise over with. I am hoping to lose a significant amount of weight on this 90 day journey. I am hoping to get off my medications. I take a blood pressure medicine. I was taking various diabetes medicines, but they dont' seem to do much for my blood sugars, exercise has the best benefit, so I stopped taking them.
I am hoping to feel healthier and have more hope in having another baby. I would love to have a brother or sister for my daughter Eilee, and increase our family. I do feel like someone is missing. I am hoping that this workout program will help me to feel more confident in a healthy pregnancy. I am going to switch OBGNY doctors and I have felt that I needed to do this. I love love love my current one, but felt that I needed to switch. I found one in Fredericksburg that I am going to call and have a consultation to see what she thinks about an almost 43 year old like myself having a baby. She specializes in older pregnancies. I feel good after tapout and am happy to start my day. I am excited to be finishing tapout the day before mother's day. It owudl be awesome to find out I am pregnant by mother's day. If it is God's will, I know it can happen. I have to do my part, and God will do the rest. I have faith in Him, and I know this journey will not be easy, but it will be worth it. I am so glad to be doing this workout with my wonderful husband Herb. He is amazing and I am so glad we have each other on this journey in life.
So I called this morning to make an appointment with a new OBGYN, to have a consultation about getting pregnant. I got an appointment for this Friday. I have avoided being pregnant for the past 8 years because I have been afraid to be pregnant again. I had carpal tunnel and diabetes and Toxemia when I was rpegnant with Eilee. I had to taek insulin shots, but that wasnt' hard. I ate right adn kept my blood sugars under control for the baby. I was hospitalized for 3 weeks prior to Eilee's birth, and had to be induced a month early Herb says that was three days over 36 weeks, and not quite a month. I say a month. She was 21 Inches and 8 lb 14 ounces. A full size baby and perfect. She has been healthy. I then had the worst post partum depression that one can have, and it took me at least two years to get back to normal me. I worry about having a baby with defects due to my health. I had heart surgery for a heart arrythmia due to sleep apnea 2 years ago. I had my heart check up last week and it is still fixed. I was also diagnosed with Melanoma the same week. A nurse found that I had a black mole on my back the day of my heart surgery. Since having heart surgery and Melanoma, I have developed general anxiety disorder symptoms, I have worried about my health a lto the past two years. My doctors ahve said I was ok to have a baby, and I want' that unhealthy in lab reports. I worry however that being obese and pregnant is not a good thing, and that i can have a baby with health problems and I would blame myself for it. I also worry about complications and dying if I were to get pregnant. SO as you can see, this is a big leap of faith for me. I konw if it is God's will, it can happen. Like i said before , I do feel like someone is missing.. I ma not sure how they will get here, if it will be by pregnancy or adoption. My 90 day goals are going to put me right up to Mother's Day. It woudl be a dream come true to be confident and pregnant on Mother's Day. I am asking God to help me make this miracle happen for my family. I will do my part, and if I do, I know He will help me.
I LOVE your post! I understand all of your concerns! I felt that way with Evan. I often call him my OLD EGG baby. However, I KNEW without a shout of doubt I was suppose to have him, and there is where I had to have faith and rely on the LORD to get him here. I was 42 when he was born.
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